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End-of-life planning

In Seniors · #seniors #end-of-life #hospice #planning #death

No one wants to think about it. Doing so anyway gives you and your family enormous peace later.

The conversations

The Conversation Project has free starter kits to help families discuss end-of-life preferences. The core questions:

  • Where do you want to be — home, hospice, hospital?
  • What level of intervention do you want? (Comfort only? Aggressive treatment? Specific lines you won't cross?)
  • Who do you want present?
  • What do you want for funeral, burial, cremation?
  • Are there relationships you want repaired or things you want to say?

Having one conversation isn't enough. Revisit every few years.

The documents

  • Advance directive / living will — stated preferences for medical care.
  • Healthcare power of attorney — names who decides if you can't.
  • POLST / MOLST — physician orders for life-sustaining treatment. Honored by EMTs; an advance directive alone is not.
  • Updated will, beneficiaries on every account — these override the will. Check annually.
  • Letter of intent — informal letter about wishes, family stories, things you want said at the funeral. Not legally binding but enormously valuable.

Hospice — what it actually is

Hospice is comfort-focused care for the last ~6 months. Medicare covers it fully. The most common regret families report is starting hospice too late. Misconceptions:

  • "Hospice is giving up." No — it's shifting from cure to comfort when cure isn't available. People often live longer on hospice than off because they're less stressed.
  • "You have to stop all treatment." No — you stop treatments aimed at curing the terminal diagnosis. Treatments for unrelated conditions (your blood pressure, your diabetes) continue.
  • "It's only for the last few days." Hospice is designed for 6 months and helps the whole family, not just the patient.

Funeral pre-planning

Pre-planning a funeral while you're alive removes a huge burden from grieving family. Most funeral homes do free consultations. You can pre-pay or just document preferences. Either way, your family doesn't guess.

Local support

Check the memorial wall to honor someone's memory, and the grief prayer requests for community support.

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